First of all, for the record. I am still around. I have had to put derby aside because of some major shifts in my life, plus I had a major project with one of my other operations, J1FM, my Japanese popular music webcast.
Even though some of you have figured it out, I will be making a major derby related announcement soon. So watch for that soon.
But even though I have ducked out of derby after that spectacular Surly sweep back in May, I have still kept an eye on our teams here in the Grand Canyon State.
With the AZDD semi-finals done, we saw the Brutal Beauties easily (and expectedly) trample the Coffin Draggers 55-37. In more of a surprise, the Runaway Brides barely slipped by the Scrappers 63-57. Not counting the mini-bouts, this 6 point victory by the Brides was the tightest margin ever for an AZDD bout. It beats the previous record that was ironically set by these same two teams in July of this year where the Brides beat the Scrappers 62-51.
While all of the leagues had delivered some great derby this year, AZDD in particular has really made that $20 VIP ticket really worth it by giving us a lot of tightly contested bouts. Not once did AZDD have a “super lopper” bout this year. Their biggest margin this season was the 41 point margin that the Brutal Beauties had over the Coffin Draggers in April with a final score 77-36. Compare this to three TRD bouts that had margins of 152, 110 and 99 points.
So now with all of that, let’s take a look at the ARIZONA POWER RANKINGS for August, 2009:
Coming up next: 9/19 ~ AZDD Championship Bout ~ The (AZ-2) Runaway Brides will try to defend their title that they took from the (AZ-4) Brutal Beauties last year. This will be an exciting championship rematch by these two very serious teams. I believe there will also be a “battle for the bronze” undercard that will pit the (AZ-9) School Yard Scrappers against the (AZ-11) Coffin Draggers. This will be at the Veteran’s Memorial Coliseum. More information will eventually be available at http://azderbydames.com 9/20 ~ AZRD Derby Summit Expo Bout ~ AZRD is inviting skaters from Tucson’s Dry Heat as well as from Northern AZ Roller Derby to play some fun Sunday derby in a place where we have not seen a full bout in years, Mesa Skateland. More info will be avaialble at http://azrollerderby.com
For now, I will take a backseat but I will still be watching. I may show up at these bouts.
Throughout July and August, AZ Roller Derby will be running Summer Skate Workshops every Thursday from 7-7:30 PM. The sessions will include basic skate skills and be guided by roller derby coaches and All-Star skaters.Sessions are open to women (18 and over with proof of insurance) of all abilities and backgrounds. Men interested in getting involved are also welcome. This is an easy way to release that deep-seeded desire to become a kick-ass roller derby ass kicker. Come to the workshops and discover why the latter sentence is understated rather than redundant.
You will need:
1) To have been alive for 18 years – 18 years, 9 months (depending on your political persuasion).
2) Have proof of insurance coverage.
3) Quad roller skates (no rollerblades) and protective gear (helmet, elbow pads, knee pads, wrist guards) are a plus, but rentals and loaners will be available. You should provide your own mouth guard.
4) A desire to succeed at one of the fastest growing sports in the world.
You do not need:
1) Skating experience.
2) Tattoos, piercings, or a proclivity for any particular type of music.
AZ Roller Derby was founded in 2003, making it one of the oldest flat track leagues in the nation. AZ Roller Derby is also a charter member of the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association, the only national governing body to regulate interstate play for flat track roller derby.
All of our skaters are volunteers who devote countless hours to practicing, promoting and publicly competing in this high-octane sport. Every element of this new style of roller derby is real, and each participant a part of a dynamic group of females. From teachers to bankers and home-makers to atomic scientists, the organization is owned and run by women determined to revive this classic American sport on their own terms.
Saturday is truly a derby night in Arizona as three of the state’s biggest leagues will all be holding events on the same night. This will make things a little frustrating for Phoenix fans as there will definitely be a test of loyalty.
ARIZONA ROLLER DERBY
ALL-STAR BOUT Take the best of the best in AZRD and put them on two teams and you have an all-star showdown to close out what some may call AZRD’s most exciting season ever. The two teams will be divided into Blue and Red teams. The Blue team will including Gratuitous Violet, Loca Lena and Hacker Too Pieces. They will be facing the Red team that will include Rayna Rage and Deez Nutz. Both teams are pretty much equally matched from a jamming and a blocking perspective. I am not going to call this one. Here are the rosters and I will let you be the judge: Blue Team: Yellow Fever, Gratuitous Violet, Loca Lena, Hacker Too Pieces, Candy Cannons, Knockout Knicko, Jugs Bunny, Rum Bunctious, Book-em Betty, C Ductive, Bea Naughty, Chachi Patron.
Red Team: Dirty Dutchess, Rayna Rage, Deez Nutz, Domiskatrix, Messy Missy, Joby Wan-and-Only, Kidda Kilah, Destructo Kitty, A Whacks Queen, Diabolique, Pokaheiness.
IF YOU GO: Castle Sports Club - 11420 N. 19th Avenue, Phoenix
Doors open at 7PM, bout starts at 7:30PM. $12 at the door. http://www.azrollerderby.com for more information
ARIZONA DERBY DAMES
(2)BRUTAL BEAUTIES VS. (8)SCHOOL YARD SCRAPPERS
(7)COFFIN DRAGGERS VS. (5) RUNAWAY BRIDES With 4 very powerful AZDD teams also playing on Saturday, fencesitting derby lovers have a very hard choice here. The Bombshells take the bye for this bout (and trust me, they need a rest after the beatings they are taking this year) and leave the skating to the powerhouses.
First we have Beauties and Scrappers. The Beauties have been showing some vulnerability this season. While the pinks squeezed by the plaid 29-15 in the January mini-bout, their performaces against the Brides have proven that the team is showing potential for another team to slip by them. While I know Red Rocker will give me a hiney-whooping the next time we meet when I say this, I think this is the one when Rowdy’s Scrappers will slip by the Beauties, but not by much. SCRAPPERS BY 1-20.
Next we have Draggers vs. Brides. The Brides under the leadership of Ann Thrash has the structure necessary to win games, they beat the Beauties. The Draggers have this interesting brand of teamwork that may work in their favor but the Brides’ record speaks for itself. BRIDES BY 15-35.
IF YOU GO: Veterans Memorial Coliseum - 19th Avenue & McDowell
Doors at 6:30PM, Bout at 7:30PM. General and Floor: $12, VIP: $20, Parking: $7. http://www.azderbydames.com for more information
TUCSON ROLLER DERBY
(1)VICE SQUAD VS. (3)COPPER QUEENS
(11)IRON CURTAIN VS. (13) FURIOUS TRUCKSTOP WAITRESSES In Tucson, TRD will have their championship bout where their two powerhouse teams, VICE Squad and the Copper Queens will fight for the TRD title. In addition, the Iron Curtain will take on FTW for third place. Last month, the FTW saw the return of Skeletor and they gave the Copper Queens a run for their money. The Iron Curtain has been busy schooling other teams and have been getting their team more together. So who will tak Tucson? I say VICE SQUAD BY 40-60 and IRON CURTAIN BY 40-60.
IF YOU GO: Tucson Indoor Sports Center (formerly Bladeworld) - 1065 W. Grant Rd.
Doors at 6PM, IC vs. FTW @ 6:30,VS vs. CQ 8:00. $10 admission. http://www.tucsonrollerderby.com for more info.
Congrats are in order to the Surly Gurlies. They bashed and bruised the other three AZRD house teams to win the Season 6 Championship Crown.
Diana Saurus Wrexx
Rumbunctious
Rayna Rage
Gratuitous Violet
Chachi Patron
Domiskatrix
Dee Dee Capitator
To read how the entire night played out, check out the post from Michichan. Here:
http://phoenix.fanster.com/michichan/
Also, to mention one other detail… Our beloved Diana Saurus Wrexx, captain of the Surlies, played her finest on Saturday. It was her last bout with AZRD and as a Surly. Wrexx, you will be missed!
On Saturday, May 16, 2009, history was made as the Surly Gurlies swept all three of their mini-games during the “Battle Royale” championship bout at the Castle Sports Club. The pirate-themed Surlys have always been underrated as a result of their 2008-2009 season record (they went 0-3 in regulation) when in fact, they have three of the strongest jammers in the league.
As the season was drawing to a close, AZRD decided to change their season format. Instead of normal season standings (which were marred by the April cancellation), AZRD decided to give all 4 teams a clean slate and have them battle it out in one night. All 4 teams would play in a round robin format of 20-minute mini-bouts.
Game 1 - Bruisers vs. Surly Gurlies In the very first game of the Battle Royale, the Surly Gurlies would come out screaming with a 4 point jam by Rayna Rage and a 9 point jam by Diana Saurus Wrexx. Then, Surly jammer Gratuitous Violet who was hurt during the Four Corner Feud earlier this month came in with in incredible 15 point jam. Cutthroat KC and Loca Lena of the Bruisers would then pick up 9 of their 10 points in the next two jams. Diana Saurus Wrexx would come back to give the Surlys a 13-point jam. Long time derby legend Paige Burner returns for a cameo appearance as a blocker on the Bruisers. In the final jam, Shedonist goes down hard in Turn 4 requiring an EMT. The Bru ran jammers team captain Cutthroat KC, Loca Lena and Shedonist. Poka Hi Ness was brought in for one jam. The Surlys ran the trinity rotation of Rayna Rage, Diana Saurus Wrexx and Gratuitous Violet. Surlys win this one 60-10.
Game 2 - Bad News Beaters vs. Brawlarinas Now it’s time for AZRD’s other two teams to have a go at it. For the Beaters, we see the return of derby legend Deez Nutz, who has been on injured reserve for a good chunk of the season. The Brawlas would go scoreless for the first 5 jams while the Beaters running jammers Deez Nutz, Sweet Candy Cannons and Vixen Tequila would pick up 14. The Brawlarinas would pick up their first points in the 6th jam with an 11 point jam by French Lyck. In the next jam we had another scare as Destructo Kitty goes down in turn 1, crawls away from the track and required EMT attention. The Beaters would continue then to score in each jam. The Brawlarinas would see their only other points in the final jam where French Lyck scored another 4 points. Brawlarinas also dispatched jammers Nico De Gallo, Hacker Too Pieces and Certified Luna Chick to the line. Beaters over the Brwlaz 38-15.
Game 3 - Bad News Beaters vs. Bruisers
After a massive upset by the Surlys in game 1 and a little breathing time to regroup, we saw a very different Bruiser team in game 3. After her injury in game 3, Shedonist was replaced in the jammer rotation by Dirty Dutchess. The Bruisers also stick with Cuttroat KC and Loca Lena in the jammer roation. This time, the Bruisers come out on fire outscoring the Beaters in the first five jams 17-8. The Beaters would then rally back with jammers Deez Nutz, Sweet Cnady Cannons, Vixen Tequila and Joby Wan and Only. By the time the mini-bout hit the midway point, the Beaters managed to catch up to the Bru. Score tied at 17. Three jams later, the Beaters lock up their win with an incredible 19 point jam by Deez Nutz. While the Bruisers slightly outscored the Beaters in the final 3 jams, the Nutz jam saved the fingernails of a castle full of derby fans. 46-29, Beaters.
Game 4 - Brawlarinas vs. Surly Gurlies The luck of the purple was just not there as the tutus only managed to score 2 points in the first 5 jams against the Surly’s 15. In the 5th jam, we get another scare as all of the on-track skaters took a knee because the Brawlas’ Destructo Kitty goes down again, this time in turn 3. The jam is stopped as EMTs look over her. She got up and was escorted off with assistance. Two jams later, Gratuitous Violet manages a triple grand-slam (15 points) to double the Surly score. It’s now 30-2. The Brawlies then tag team jammers Hacker Too Pieces and French Lyck to try to close the margin. The Surlys would continue to outscore them including an 11 point jam by Diana Saurus Wrexx. In the final jam with a comfortable lead, the Surlys put RUM Bunctious to the line against French Lyck. Game ends with the Surlys picking up their second win, 55-19 over the Brawlarinas.
Game 5 - Brawlarinas vs. Bruisers By the time we got to Game 5, it was already after 10PM. Way too many time outs in the first 4 bouts put the night way behind schedule. It was decided that because of the late hour and the fact that since the Brawlas and the Bruisers lost their first and second round games and there is no way that either could win the championship, AZRD would forego this game and continue with Game 6.
Diana Saurus Wrexx skates in her final AZRD bout.
Game 6 - Surly Gurlies vs. Beaters The stage has been set for the “true” championship bout. Derby lovers both on the floor and behind the glass at the Castle will experience some real championship derby as both teams were playing more aggressive than ever. They knew what was at stake. Surlys ran the trinity jammer rotation with 8 and 9 point jams by Gratuitous Violet. The Beaters with Deez Nutz, Sweet Candy Cannons an Vixen Tequila only managed to pick up 15 points by the final jam. In the third jam, Vixen Tequila did pass the star to Messy Missy. In the final jam, Sweet Candy Cannons gets the lead jam for the Beaters but this jam was very special for Diana Saurus Wrexx, who is leaving AZRD after this game. While the Beaters could have called off this jam at anytime, they let this jam continue as to let Diana finish her time at AZRD with a bang, a 12 point final jam. The crowd was on fire for this last two minutes of final jam derby. The Surly Gurlies win this mini-bout 48-16 over the Beaters.
The Surly Gurlies win the AZRD championship for the 2008-2009 season. This is the first championship title for the Surly Gurlies in the 6-season history of Arizona Roller Derby.
While we talked primarily about the jammers in these summaries, let’s not forget about the very hard work that the other 80% of the skaters are doing. The blocking was very incredible in all of the games, especially in Game 6.
AZRD has announced that they will have an all-star bout on June 13. Lineups will be announced later.
This was a very incredible season for AZRD as they bounce back from the rough seas they experienced in Season 5. The return to the Castle, the leadership changes and a vast improvement on the fan experience has brought the fans back to the Castle. Despite the heavy competition in the Phoenix market for the fan’s derby dollar, AZRD is still a high quality game of roller derby in a fan friendly atmosphere. Michi-chan Rollersports Productions would like to thank AZRD for the great hospitality and allowing us to share this incredible league with derby lovers worldwide.
Tonight, May 16, Phoenix is going to get their final dose of Arizona Roller Derby for the 2008-2009 season. This season, the league managed to get 5 of their 6 games in. Their sixth game scheduled in April was canceled due to facility damage. AZRD has decided to take all of the teams and give them all an equal chance to pick up the championship. This includes the Surly Gurlies who were originally knocked out of post season contention.
With the attrition, roster changes and new skaters who have joined the ranks of AZRD during this season, many of the teams do not reflect their original rosters at the beginning of the season.
The rules of the Battle Royale are very simple. There will be six 20 minute mini-bouts in a round robin format. Each team will play 3 times. The team with the most wins at the end of three games will win the championship. There are ways to settle ties (which we talked about in a previous blog). Also a very important stipulation here, there will be NO substitutions. Each team is on their own.
All of the teams seem to be fairly equally footed for this bout. I am most concerned about the Bruisers in this bout as they have had multiple losses throughout this season.
Based on the performance of the team’s skaters both on their home teams as well as on the travel teams, I will go out on a limb with some final AZRD predictions for the season.
Bruisers vs. Surly Gurlies - The Bruisers are going in with a very short roster. The Surlys on the other hand have some of the best jammers, when they have been playing on teams other than the Surlys. With Gratuitous Violet, Diana Sauras Wrexx and Rayna Rage on the Surlys, I will give this as an easy win to the Surlys. SURLYS BY 10-15.
Bad News Beaters vs. Brawlarinas - The Beaters will see the return of Deez Nutz for this bout. The ballgirls have a nice consistent roster, which has allowed them to win games (except for the Beater/Brawla bout where Diana Sauras Wrexx subbed). Brawlies have the Bone Settter. Even though she’s not in the regular rotation as a jammer, when she comes to the line, Bones definitely pays dividends. All it takes is one good Bone jam. BRAWLIES BY 5-10.
Bruisers vs. Beaters - Bouts like this gives us memories of the historic Bruiser/Beater match-ups of years gone by. While previous Bruiser rosters have given us some memorable moments at AZRD, I think it’s time for the Beaters to shine. BEATERS BY 20-25.
Surlys vs. Brawlas - The Brawlas have a good blocking department but their jamming has always needed some outside help. We’ll just have to see how good they do from the inside, especially against the Surly jammers. SURLYS BY 10-15.
Bruisers vs. Brawlas - No Shirley Demise but yes, Hacker! - BRAWLAS BY 5-10.
and finally Beaters vs. Surlys - This will probably be the most exciting game from a roster perspective. Both of these teams are pretty evenly matched but I think the Surlys have an upper hand on the point scoring. They have a pretty good blocking force. It’s too bad they went 0-3 in the season. SURLYS BY 5-10.
So based on our game by game predictions, I feel that the Surly Gurlies will walk away with the Battle Royale and the AZRD 2008-2009 title followed by the Brawlarinas, Beaters and Bruisers.
This will take place May 16, 2009 at the Castle Sports Club, 11420 N 19th Avenue, Phoenix. Doors open at 7:00PM, the bout starts at 7:30PM. Admission $12 at the door. This is the last AZRD roller derby until August. Please come out and support your local roller derby!
This past Saturday was a night with overlapping bouts in Phoenix and Tucson. In Phoenix, the Arizona Derby Dames were skating at the Veteran’s Memorial Coliseum. Honestly, this was my first AZDD bout in over a year and I will say that league has been able to make the most out of the Vet and put on one impressive presentation. The 0-2 (AZ Power Rankings #11) Bombshells would take on the 1-0 (#5) Runaway Brides. In addition, the 1-0 (#8) School Yard Scrappers would take on the 1-1 (#7) Coffin Draggers. Meanwhile down in Tucson, the 4-1 (#1) VICE Squad would take on the 2-3 (#9) Iron Curtain.
The Runaway Brides, skating without team captain Ann Thrash who was under the weather came out screaming dominating the first period with lead jams. Ellie Mayhem has a 8 point jam against Goody Goody Blooddrop. Vanessa Velocity would then pick up a 7 point jam against Prima Donna. While the Brides were picking more points, the Bombshell jammers were keeping up with the Bride jammers. Definitely an improvement over the 2008 Bombshells. A jammer fight would mark the end of the first half 52-32, Brides.
The second half would open with Ellie Mayhem getting 4 points over Prima Donna. Vanessa Velocity would get 8 points in the second jam to further widen the margin. The final jam would be 3-on-3 as both teams had two skaters in the penalty box (all 4 sharing two chairs). The bout ends with the Runaway Brides winning their second bout of the season and the Bombshells going to 0-3. This was the last bout for Runaway Bride’s star jammer Stilhetto Wheels, who is moving out of the country. We wish her well. Final score 96-55.
This one was very hard to call because these teams are very strong in both the blocking and jamming departments. The Scrappers are a little stronger. The first jam would start with Dr. Mary Lu Bottomy for the Draggers and Mizz Nashty for the Scrappers. Nashty would pick up the lead jam. In the next jam, Coffin Draggers’ Heather Skelter would pick up the first lead jam for the morgue girls. The margin of the game stayed pretty close throughout the first period as the score had tied in a couple of places. Two significant extended take downs took place as Dragger Ginger Mortis would take on the Scrappers’ LoLo. Later on, league co-founder All The Way Mae on the Scrappers would have an altercation with the Draggers’ Katie Kills. Derby fans and skaters had a scare when Scrapper Kat Von Double-D’s went down in the final jam. The stadium got unusually quiet as medical technicians were working on her. She would eventually get up to a cheering crowd. She told REAL Derby that she took a hit to the ribs. All The Way Mae would go to the penalty box in this final jam and the half ends with the Scrappers up 29-25.
Scrappers jammer Mizz Nashty rejoins the jam without her helmet.
In the first jam of the second half, Dragger Dr. Mary Lu Bottomy would take on the Scrappers’ Mizz Nashty. In the same first jam, we had another scare as Scrapper LoLo went down in turn 4. She crawled into the infield leaving another episode of deafening silence in the madhouse until the crowd started to chant “Lo-Lo, Lo-Lo, Lo-Lo…”. LoLo would get up with the assistance of the medical personnel with one of her skates off. The jam would restart with Mizz Nashty and Mary Lu. Mary Lu had difficulty as a result of team blocking by former Arizona Bruisers Mink Stole and Bad Betty. LoLo would return only to get into a fight with the Draggers’ Nacho Girlfriend. While the margin was slightly towards the Scrappers, the margin would widen when rookie jammer Jenna Talls would score a 10 point jam (best jam of the night) and put the Scrappers farther ahead. Kat Von Double D’s would eventually return to the bout. In a very confusing final jam between Dr. Mary Lu Bottomy and Mizz Nashty, Nash appears to have been involved in an extended take down (fight) with an unknown skater in turn 3. We could not see it too well from our turn 1 vantage point. It appeared that Nash was going to the penalty box. She would then return to the jam without her helmet on. She would eventually get escorted to the penalty box by ref Oliver Klozhov. Despite the powerjam opportunity by the Draggers, the bout would end with the Scrappers squeezing by, 63-50.
TUCSON ROLLER DERBY: VICE SQUAD 67 - IRON CURTAIN 54
In what is being described as an electrifying bout, the VICE Squad were able to edge by the Iron Curtain. At one time, the IC had the lead. Jammer penalties costed the IC dearly. Both of these teams have completed their regulation season. VICE will finish 5-1 and Iron Curtain will finish 2-4.
Coming up next weekend, Arizona Roller Derby “Battle Royale” championship bout. We’ll see you there!
AZ Roller Derby Season 6
AZ Roller Derby Presents
Season 6 Finale: Championship Battle Royale
Saturday, May 16th
Castle Sports Complex
11420 N 19th Ave., Phoenix
Doors @ 7:00PM, Bout @ 7:30PM
Tickets $10 Pre-Sale, $12 @ the Door
Tickets available at AzRollerDerby.com
AZ ROLLER DERBY PRESENTS
Season 6 Finale
CHAMPIONSHIP BATTLE ROYALE
Tournament Featuring:
BAD NEWS BEATERS, BRUISERS, BRAWLARINAS,
and SURLY GURLIES
Life, at times, can grow tedious and difficult. This is compounded when economies, politics, and society have simultaneously grown tedious and difficult. In times such as these, we are assaulted with incessant reminders of our plight, often beginning with the phrase “in times such as these.” We are reminded to drink less alcohol, drink more Pepsi, mind our health, eat more Big Mac’s, spend more, save more, trust financial institutions, and to cease being such rubes who blindly believe in financial institutions. Of course it is all true. Thank you, politicos, financial impresarios, and media punditos, for showing us the error of our ways. Had we only heeded your timely and sensible warnings regarding our communal lack of vigilance over your negligence and marginal criminality, why, we wouldn’t be in this mess. Our bad. Mea culpa. . .
Still, in times such as these, it is important that we come together to celebrate what is really important: the end of another season of Arizona Roller Derby. Season 6 will come to a violently entertaining end on the evening of Saturday, May 16th, at Castle Sports Club (11420 N 19th Ave.), as every skater and team take the floor to do battle against each other. At the end of the evening, one team will be declared the champs, and three teams will begin petitioning the government for a bailout (hopefully the Suns and Coyotes have not taken it all by then). Come out to see first hand who will end up a “have” and who will be “have-nots,” and you are sure to see a significant reduction in life’s tedium and difficulty.
Derby fans, welcome to May. We’re at a point where two league’s seasons are starting to come to an end and one is very much in full swing. This is definitely a month where most of Arizona’s leagues have something going on I know it’s going to keep this Michi-chan very very very busy.
This month, there’s something for everyone, including those who are more artsy than sportsy and for those who want to strap on the quads and have a chance to bump hips with other dedicated women, you will have a chance.
If you can make it to one or more of these events, including the Tucson ones if you are so adventuresome, please do so and again, thank you for supporting your local roller derby and community sports in Arizona.
FRIDAY - MAY 1
ARIZONA DERBY DAMES
ROLLERGIRL BAKE SALE featuring the School Yard Scrappers If you are looking for a tasty treat baked with some derby love or you just want to mix and mingle with the rollergirls, this is the place to be. Every First Friday, the AZDD holds a monthly bake sale fundraiser to help support the league (remember, rink rental is not cheap) as well as promote their upcoming bout. While it’s very early in the season, Rowdy’s Scrappers are currently #1 in AZDD and #8 in the derbydata.com Arizona Power Rankings. The plaid definitely have a good chance to go pretty high this year.
IF YOU GO: Friday May 1 - 7:30PM to Midnight
Roosevelt Row Block Party (5th St. & Garfield, Downtown PHX)
Light Rail: Roosevelt/Central (ROCN)
SATURDAY - MAY 2
RENEGADE ROLLERGIRLS FUNDRAISER The Renegade Rollergirls present a 50/50 raffle and rollergirl arm wrestling with live performances by Bruised in Red and Runaway Phoenix.
IF YOU GO: Saturday May 2 - doors at 8PM - $8 at the door
Alice Cooperstown - 101 E Jackson St - Phoenix
Light Rail: 3rd St/Washington (3WA) - 3rd St/Jefferson (3JF)
SATURDAY - MAY 9
TUCSON ROLLER DERBY
(9) IRON CURTAIN VS. (1) VICE SQUAD The #9 Iron Curtain has had two very impressive performances, one off the record against Rage City in Alaska and then a major case of “skatercide” against the now #12 Furious Truckstop Waitresses. The Iron Curtain, a team that was in the cellar for many years will be up to the ultimate test, the number one team in Arizona, VICE Squad. VICE recently suffered their first loss in the past year last month to the Copper Queens. The problem here is that the wins that the IC have been getting have been to fairly rookie teams and hopefully this will not be a case of false confidence. The IC is being put up to it’s biggest test of the year, 60 minutes against Sami Automatic, Turkish Slammer and the rest of Arizona’s ultimate power team. Will the red army be ready for this? Perhaps, but I think VICE will prevail, VICE SQUAD by 40-60. If VICE wins, they will end the season at 5-1 and IC at 2-4. An IC win will give VICE 4-2 and IC 3-3. Either way, the matchups for the June 13 Championship Bout have been determined as all 4 TRD teams have clinched their playoff games (championship bout is 1st place vs. 2nd place and then 3rd place vs. 4th place will play for a consolation game).
IF YOU GO: Saturday May 9 - doors at 6:30PM - bout at 7:00PM
Bladeworld - 1605 W Grant St - Tucson
Admission at door $10 - advance sale tickets available at tucsonrollerderby.com michi-chan derby love tour
SATURDAY - MAY 9 ARIZONA DERBY DAMES - DOUBLEHEADER BOUT
(7) COFFIN DRAGGERS VS. (8) SCHOOL YARD SCRAPPERS
(5) RUNAWAY BRIDES VS. (11) BOMBSHELLS You had a chance to see them at the Bake Sale and you get to see them in action. Rowdy and her naughty schoolgirls are going to give the prettiest girls in the morgue a little schooling while Dolly De Los Muertos and the Coffin Draggers will be pulling some new trix out of the book to assure a lot of hard hits and fast jamming. The #8 Scrappers had a very very easy win over the Bombshells so this bout will be the plaid’s first real test of Rowdy’s 2009 leadership. Meanwhile, the Draggers have had a little more experience this year by also taking an easy win over the #11 Bombshells and then had a challenge against the #3 Brutal Beauties which resulted in a loss due to a second half pink rally. Both of these teams have very hard hitting skaters and I see a very defensive game here. I love my Draggers but something tells me that this one will tilt a little more plaid. SCRAPPERS BY 10-30. Now for the other bout. We have the Bombshells, the #11 Bombshells, a team that was only saved from the cellar by a massive loss by a Tucson team. This team has not won a game since 2007, but they have really not had a headline skater since the days of Phenomenon and Rope Me Rhonda. These girls try. Please don’t think I am trashing the Bombshells here. I would love to see them win, especially against a powerhouse like the #5 Runaway Brides.. but something tells me the balance is still not there. I think this will be AZDD’s first true lopper of the year. BRIDES BY 60-80.
IF YOU GO: Saturday, May 9 - Box office opens at 5PM - Doors at 6:30PM - Bout at 7:30PM
Veteran’s Memorial Coliseum - 19th Avenue & McDowell - PHX
$12 general admission - $12 floor admission (limit 200) - $20 VIP level admission
No advance tickets but see the AZ Derby Dames forum for information on how to sign up for the Arizona State Fair newsletter and get a $2 discount on general and floor admisison and $5 on VIP.
SATURDAY - MAY 9
NORTHERN ARIZONA ROLLER DERBY
SCRIMMAGE AT SMOKE OUT WEST - COTTONWOOD A while ago, NAzRD has told REAL Derby that they plan to have a scrimmage at the Smoke Out West. The Smoke Out Rally website suggests that Arizona Derby Dames will be there (kind of tough since they have a game the same night). So all I can say is if you go, you may see some roller derby. If NAzRD is skating there, good luck and watch out for the road rash. You think rink rash is rough…
FRIDAY - MAY 15
ARIZONA ROLLER DERBY
WOMEN: SEX AND THE ARTS As a part of thier Phoenix Third Friday series, the Heard Museum will present a viewing and discussion titled “Women: Sex and the Arts”. The event will include the work of local women as well as live sport demonstrations by members of Arizona Roller Derby as well as music and cocktails.
IF YOU GO: Friday, May 15 - starting at 6PM - FREE!
Heard Museum - 2301 N Central Avenue - PHX
Derby demo will be in the Heard’s Steele Auditorium
LIGHT RAIL: Encanto/Central (ENCN)
SATURDAY - MAY 16
ARIZONA ROLLER DERBY
BATTLE ROYALE CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND ROBIN This format change for AZRD was planned prior to last month’s “rain-out” at the Castle Sports Club but apparently, instead of using the standings (which were eventually marred by the rain-out), AZRD has elected to literally give each team a clean slate and decide this season’s champion by a round robin. Each team will play three times in three rounds of 20 minute mini-bouts: ROUND 1 - (U) Bruisers vs. (10) Surly Gurlies / (4) Bad News Beaters vs. (6) Brawlarinas ROUND 2 - Bruisers vs. Bad News Beaters / Surly Gurlies vs. Brawlarinas ROUND 3 - Bruisers vs. Brawlarinas / Surly Gurlies vs. Bad News Beaters
The champion will be the team with the most wins. If there is a two-way tie, a sudden death jam between the two teams will break the tie. For a three-way tie, there will be first a sudden death jam between the two of the teams and then the winner will take on “team 1″. Team 1 will be determined first based on points, then on point spread and if there’s still a tie, then a match race will determine Team 1. AZRD has also told REAL Derby that there will be no substitutions allowed for the round robin. As skaters have entered and left the league, we have seen a lot of roster substitutions throughout the season. Not tonight! This is not the first time that AZRD’s postseason has not been based on standings. Last season’s standings were marred by the split of the Arizona Bruisers/Phoenix City Rollers. This resulted in AZRD forming a new Bruisers team mid-season. They promoted the Brawlarinas from the #4 slot and they played against the Surly Gurlies in the Semi Finals. The Brawlas lost in a very close 74-60 bout. The Surlys would go on the play the Beaters and lost to the ballgirls 113-50.
IF YOU GO: Saturday May 16 - Doors open at 7:00PM - Bout starts at 7:30PM (note: different times)
Castle Sports Club - 11420 N 19th Avenue, PHX
General admission $12 - discount tickets available at azrollerderby.com Michi-chan Derby Love Tour
SATURDAY - MAY 30
TUCSON ROLLER DERBY
(12) FURIOUS TRUCKSTOP WAITRESSES VS. (2) COPPER QUEENS This is TRD’s last regular season bout. This bout starts with the Furious Truckstop Waitresses, a team that was once THE dynasty in Arizona and was #1 in the Power Rankings but because of a very nasty loss to the team that was once Arizona’s long time cellar dweller has now sunk to the cellar. The FTW team that we grew up on is pretty much gone. This new FTW, mainly made up of rookie skaters has done their best but struggled throughout the year. They suffered two very wide defeats (VICE Squad by 152 points, Iron Cutain by 99) and in the last time they took on the Copper Queens, they were swept 35-5 in the mini bout round robin. The FTW has only scored 53 points this year. I surely hope that the FTW have not written off this season and hope they give everything against the Copper Queens. They will need it. The Copper Queens are coming in with a new dose of confidence after taking out the state’s number one team in April. Derby fans, even if you are not a FTW fan, please support this team. Let’s have a “pink-out” at Bladeworld on May 30 to show our love for the FTW. But with all of the support we can provide them, the statistics must unfortunately prevail, COPPER QUEENS BY 80-100.
IF YOU GO: Saturday May 30 - doors at 6:30PM - bout at 7:00PM
Bladeworld - 1605 W Grant St - Tucson
Admission at door $10 - advance sale tickets available at tucsonrollerderby.com michi-chan derby love tour
SUNDAY - MAY 31
HELL CITY ROLLERGIRLS
TRY-OUTS Get on the ground floor of Arizona’s newest independent league. Holly Homicide’s HCRG is holding open tryouts for skaters to help build the league. If you want to give it a try or if you are a former area skater who wants to have an opportunity to come back and with a fresh new league witha fresh attitude, give Hell City a try!
IF YOU GO: Sunday May 31 - 6PM to 7:30PM
The Great Skate - 10054 N 43rd Avenue - Glendale
$10 (includes skate rental) - remember to bring water!!!!!!!
So there you go, sometime for everyone! Come out and support these hard working women!
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This past Saturday was a night with overlapping bouts in Phoenix and Tucson. In Phoenix, the Arizona Derby Dames were skating at the Veteran’s Memorial Coliseum. Honestly, this was my first AZDD bout in over a year and I will say that league has been able to make the most out of the Vet and put on one impressive presentation. The 0-2 (AZ Power Rankings #11) Bombshells would take on the 1-0 (#5) Runaway Brides. In addition, the 1-0 (#8) School Yard Scrappers would take on the 1-1 (#7) Coffin Draggers. Meanwhile down in Tucson, the 4-1 (#1) VICE Squad would take on the 2-3 (#9) Iron Curtain.
Derby fans, welcome to May. We’re at a point where two league’s seasons are starting to come to an end and one is very much in full swing. This is definitely a month where most of Arizona’s leagues have something going on I know it’s going to keep this Michi-chan very very very busy.
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