Author Archive

The Scariest Diamondbacks

With Halloween fast approaching now is a good time to try and figure out the scariest Diamondback of all time. We have plenty of candidates in the team’s short history. These are players that would scare the opposition, or players [...]

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29 Oct 09 Written by
Booo!887 Comments

A Pitch for Papelbon

I’ve solved the Arizona Diamondbacks closer problems. If you think my solution is “resign Chad Qualls,” you are sorely mistaken. No, the answer to the Arizona Diamondbacks closer problem is Johnathon Papelbon. After the Boston Red Sox got suddenly and swiftly [...]

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13 Oct 09 Written by
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Ken Kendrick Isn’t As Cheap as You Think

Famous musician Coolio once rhymed “I’m an educated fool with money on my mind.” That lyric came from probably his most famous song “Gangsta’s Paradise,” even if you don’t follow hip-hop music you know the song from the movie Dangerous [...]

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9 Oct 09 Written by
I Aint Cheap!No Comments

How Do We Fix This?

The Diamondbacks are broken. They are a car whose fender has fallen off. They are a Nintendo game caterage that won’t play no matter how hard you blow in it. They are the Twitter fail whale. They are broke and there [...]

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7 Oct 09 Written by
No vacation for Josh this off-season. (Ross D. Franklin/AP)No Comments

School’s Out: Season Grades for the D-Backs (Part 2)

Thankfully, the 2009 baseball season is about to come to an end for the Arizona Diamondbacks. It’s time for a report card, a grade for every relevant D-Backs player this season. If you missed part one, check it out here. Dan [...]

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30 Sep 09 Written by
Zavada earned extra credit for his amazing facial hair (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)No Comments

School’s Out: Season Grades for the D-Backs (Part 1)

Thankfully, the 2009 baseball season is about to come to an end for the Arizona Diamondbacks. It’s time for a report card, a grade for every relevant D-Backs player this season. It’s not going to be pretty, actually it is [...]

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29 Sep 09 Written by
AJ Hinch looks in during this abyss of a season (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images North America)No Comments

Farewell to the Eric Byrnes Show

The Eric Byrnes show, much like the career of the star himself, has met its demise. It will not be renewed by Fox Sports Net Arizona. Today, most reality TV shows star celebrities that were long past their prime. One could argue that [...]

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21 Sep 09 Written by
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Poor Gonzo

So the Kanye meme may be getting old, but I couldn’t [...]

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17 Sep 09 Written by
gonzohit-copyNo Comments

Out of Our Hearts, Out of Our Minds

The Diamondbacks have long been out of our hearts in this 2009 season. They started leaving with a terrible April and they never looked back. It’s rare that a team goes through an entire season without ever being in contention, [...]

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9 Sep 09 Written by
Its Been a Long Season for AJNo Comments

Conor Jackson’s Lost Season

When I think of the bizarre circumstances that have befuddled Conor Jackson’s life and baseball career in 2009 this famous Monthy Python clip comes to mind: What has happened to the man that was once the future face of the franchise? [...]

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5 Sep 09 Written by
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