Everyone seems to be discussing what the terms of the memorandums that City of Glendale reached with Jerry Reinsdorf and Ice Edge Holdings were. What no one seems to be talking about are the things that didn’t make it into the memorandums.
The Fanster.com Investigative Team, led by yours truly, has unearthed a few of the things that were on the table but didn’t quite make it into the agreements that the Glendale City Council will vote on Tuesday.
- Ice Edge CEO Anthony LeBlanc must bring in his former boss from Research In Motion, Jim Balsillie, to be used as target practice for team
- In agreeing to allow the team name to be changed, all parties must agree it won’t be changed to the Las Vegas Coyotes, Kansas City Coyotes or Saskatoon Coyotes
- Wayne Gretzky isn’t allowed within 1000 feet of the team–even if he purchases the Dallas Stars
- Reinsdorf must give the 1993 NBA Championship trophy to the Suns and apologize for running the Chicago Bulls
- In the chance of a relocation, both groups must agree not to use Swift Transportation
- The long standing tradition of only making the playoffs once every seven years must be kept in tact
- Charging for parking will use the “drive-in movie” method. Prices will be based on size of car and number of people with opposing team’s bus paying the most
- All players, team employees and those that attend events at the arena must agree to vote ultra conservative in order to avoid the Goldwater Institute from blocking the deal
- Ice Edge CEO must change his name from Anthony to Matthew LeBlanc to give the team more “star power” and name recognition
