Brownie Points: It’s (not always) good to be the King

Before we even get to the bottom of this whole Tiger Woods deal, a quick question:

The last time the police came to your house, twice, asking to talk to you and your wife told them you were sleeping and to come back another time … just how do that work out for you, exactly?

I’m not sure where El Tigre was heading at 2:25 a.m. on Friday – although the lure of those Zhu Zhu toy hamsters can cause us all to do weird stuff – and I don’t know why the wife was thrusting a golf club around the driveway like Chi Chi Rodriguez after dropping a 25-footer, but someone’s got some explaining to do.

And while I do appreciate Tiger for falling on his sword and ripping all the media speculation on his website (I guess the editor happened to catch him when he wasn’t sleeping) I don’t think Gloria Allred is picking up Little Miss All-That at LAX because there’s been a little misunderstanding.

So just as we suspected, being the best golfer in the world, rich beyond your wildest dreams and married to a Swedish supermodel all before age 35 isn’t all it’s cracked up to be?

* Come on, Fiesta Bowl. Roll the dice. Leave the Big 11 also-rans Penn State and Iowa at home and go for the home run. Let’s see TCU against either Cincinnati or Boise State and keep that “Born to be Wild” spirit that has always paid off for “The Little Bowl that Could” in the past.

Midwest boring might bring better TV ratings and fill more hotel rooms, but the buzz wouldn’t come with it.

* The worst news regarding ASU football is that, apparently, Dennis Erickson was right all along: Danny Sullivan was the best quarterback in the program.

That’s not a good thing. In fact, it’s downright embarrassing. But even if Rich Olson gets fired (a certainty) and even if someone else who can take over the play-calling duties is found, Erickson hasn’t recruited a single quarterback worthy of being on the field since he’s been here. Not one.

And when you don’t have a quarterback who can get you in the end zone and your kicker is hurt and can’t kick field goals … you get to 4-8 real quick…

* We’ll likely read all about how great teams don’t give up 99-yard touchdown drives or allow three fourth-down conversions, etc. But I was impressed with how much the Cardinals brought to the table in Tennessee.

Kurt Warner didn’t play, Matt Leinart didn’t get to prepare, the Titans are the hottest team in the league (they could make the playoffs and the Steelers could miss them!) and the Cardinals were one stop away from winning a road game without a TD pass.

And while Beanie Wells has all the tools, Tim Hightower still makes all the plays.

* Just when it looked like the Coyotes were preparing to slip into oblivion before Christmas, they post back-to-back wins in the division over a 48-hour period thanks to two-goal games from those well-known snipers, Lauri Korpikoski and James Vandermeer.

Get used to it. With Dave Tippett’s system and Ilya Bryzgalov between the pipes, this team is going to be in the hunt all season if they can squeeze out three goals a game. The long losing streaks that turned previous seasons upside down won’t come so easily now that the players have a style they can hang their hat on. Even so, Shane Doan and Radim Vrbata and the other Coyotes who are paid to score need to pick up the pace.

* The Suns have three four-game winning streaks just 17 games into the season and are undefeated (10-0) when holding opponents to less than 110 points a game. But all those stories in New York – where they play Mike D’Antoni’s Knicks tonight – about the return of “Seven Seconds or Less” in Phoenix are way off the mark.

These Suns play enough defense to be dangerous – as holding a potent Toronto team to 39 percent shooting and 94 points on Sunday shows. They are still vulnerable to big teams who can rebound (have a nice day, Chris Bosh), but you’re not seeing the prolific wing players blow up for 40 points with regularity.

And this Phoenix team has a bench. How many nights under D’Antoni were Steve Nash and Shawn Marion and Grant Hill and Raja Bell still on the floor in the fourth quarter with Suns either leading or trailing by 15 points? With Jared Dudley and Louis Amundson and Goran Dragic added to Leandro Barbosa (when healthy) off the bench, the Suns are gaining defense and putting minute after minute from Nash, Hill and others in the bank for down the road.

That’s how the Spurs do it, folks.

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Tags: Beanie Wells, Chris Bosh, Danny Sullivan, Dave Tippett, Dennis Erickson, Elin Nordegren, Fiesta Bowl, Gloria Allred, Grant Hill, Ilya Bryzgalov, James Vandermeer, Jared Dudley, Kurt Warner, Lauri Korpikoski, Leandro Barbosa, Louis Amundson, Matt Leinart, Mike D'Antoni, Rachel Uchitel, Radim Vrbata, Raja Bell, Rich Olson, Shane Doan, Shawn Marion, Steve Nash, Tiger Woods, Tim Hightower