The Sports Retorter: The Suns are good? I must have traveled back to 2006

By Greg Esposito

I’ve invented time travel.

I don’t know how, I don’t know with what and I’m not even sure why but I’ve come up with it.

I wish I had a great story like I was hanging a picture above my toilet, fell off, hit my head and came up with the concept that made it possible but alas I’m no Doc Brown.

While I may not know how I accomplished it, I have evidence to prove my creations exhistence.

I’m currently living in 2006 and I can prove it.

How can I prove it? Well, the Phoenix Suns are on top of the Western Conference and are averaging over 110 points per game. Steve Nash has been dishing assists at a faster rate than NBC cancels primetime shows. He is playing so well that Shaquille O’Neal would consider the MVP award “tainted” if he were to receive it. He is hitting bit shots at the end of games and has a 20+ assist game under his belt. That and he’s playing 35 minutes a game because the Suns don’t have a suitable option to back him up.

Along with the Suns fast paced offense and Steve Nash’s high production level, Amare Stoudemire is playing his way back into shape after an injury that sidelined him for significant time last season (then again, based on that this could be any number of years that I’ve found myself in). Not to mention many think Leandro Barbosa could win the sixth man award.

Even the Cardinals gave me reason to come to take the quantum leap of faith that I’ve stumbled upon some various of the flux capacitor . The Cardinals played Matt Leinart in a game against the Chicago Bears and he threw an interception with Kurt Warner standing on the sidelines. After the game the head coach brought up something about “the Bears were who we thought they were” and smacked the podium as he left.

That isn’t enough evidence to prove I’ve traveled back in time to 2006?

How about this, ASU’s football program is embroiled in a quarterback controversy between a young quarterback and a senior quarterback and has caused a debate amongst Sun Devil fans.

Even the Phoenix Coyotes are providing evidence. They trying to gain fans back from a completely lost season (OK so maybe that’s not very good evidence).

Regardless of what my calendar reads or what my computer’s date/time stamp says, I refuse to believe that this is 2009.

When I left the future to head back to the past, almost every expert said that the Suns were suppose to be a failure. That Steve Nash was misguided and washed up. That the Suns wouldn’t be able to score and weren’t as athletic as in the past. Those comments coupled with the fact that the Suns are atop the west, beating the eastern conferences elite and scoring at will, leads me to the conclusion that this can’t be 2009.

Add in the ASU quarterback conundrum and the Matt Leinart interception in the fourth quarter of a game against the Bears and it’s an airtight case.

I’ve either stumbled upon one of the greatest discoveries in the history of mankind, or those trusted most by the American public to predict what will happen in sports completely misjudged the Phoenix Suns talent, ability and the value of team chemistry.

Yeah, I most definitely discovered time travel. The other options is just unfathomable. The only thing I can’t explain is why I’m still 25 pounds heavier than I was the first time I experienced 2006.

And Now Time For Something Completely Different

In Case You Missed It

Kurt Warner was a guest on the Dan Patrick Show on Monday. The interview was entertaining but there was one part that caught my eye. Kurt Warner told Dan Patrick that he’d like to score a rushing touchdown this week after throwing for five against the Bears.