The Sports Retorter: This is Coyotes Country?

Last season’s slogan for the NHL team that calls Phoenix home was “Coyotes Country”. So far this season that country hasn’t been a very populous one, think in terms of the population of Nauru (don’t worry I hadn’t heard of it either till I looked up least populated countries on Google). The team has averaged 11,382 fans a night this season, dead last in the NHL–a number that is propped up by an opening night sellout (where all tickets were either $25 or $15).

Last night’s 3-2 win over the Detroit Red Wings was probably a low point for the club. Usually having 11,938 fans cheering and wearing red is a good thing by this season’s standards (think of it like grading on a curve in a class of really slow students). The problem was, things looked less like Glendale and more like Detroit southwest (minus the deteriorating buildings, burning cars and over-abundance of unemployment). According to fans in attendance, the building seemed to be at least half-filled with Red Wings fans.

I’m not here to tell you how to spend your money, that’s the job of your significant other, the court system and/or team marketing departments. As a matter of fact, for a majority of the last seven seasons I wouldn’t have blamed you for not showing up to games. The team was bad and the coaching staff was questionable.

This year seems different. The Coyotes hired a coach who has a history of winning in the NHL, Dave Tippett, and the young talent Don Maloney has complied over the last few seasons is finally starting to come of age. It’s only been eight games but for the first time in a long time there are signs of life in Glendale (and they’re not coming from Westgate bars or University of Phoenix Stadium). The Coyotes have a real hockey team and a chance at the playoffs. It’s yet to be seen if after their tumultuous summer if they have enough fans left for a chance at survival.

You can’t blame the team, the coach or the front office at this point. They all were put in a tough spot and have seemed to persevere and come out better in the end. Right now it all rests on the fans.

If you aren’t willing to spend the money to go to a game yet, dedicate two hours to watch a game (you can even change the channel during commercials and intermissions, I won’t tell). I promise you’ll see something you haven’t since seen Jeremy Roenick (the first time), Keith Tkachuk and Teppo Numminen all called Phoenix home … a competitive hockey team.

And now time for something completely different:

Taking a Dip

During the fifth inning of last night’s game five of the American League Championship Series, a fan decided to take a swim in the center field waterfall at Angels Stadium halting play. It left fans in Phoenix confused and wondering “Why was play stopped? Don’t people always go swimming at Major League Baseball stadiums?”.

You’ll get a kick out of this

According to the Arizona Republic’s Kent Somers, Cardinals running back Tim Hightower practices kicking field goals at least once a week in the event the team needs an emergency kicker. Apparently Hightower has even made a 50 yard field goal with no pressure (Hightower hasn’t even had a run that long in his NFL career).

The way the Cardinals have been running the ball, kicking in a game might be the most times he touches a ball all year.

Watch Out!

If you are like me and still subscribe to Sports Illustrated be careful when you open our mailbox this weekend. Last night when I made my nightly check of the mail I was greeted by Shaquille O’Neal pointing at me from the cover of SI. It was like going out for dinner and running into an ex-girlfriend. You don’t expect it, it’s uncomfortable and you wonder why you ever opened that damn box in the first place.

Tweet of the Day

We love the guys over at Suns.com, but they dropped the ball on this one. I, like most fans, need to know what he pulled a “Michael Scott” over. Without it the mind can only be left to wander to things like “Amare you can’t bang the boards like Shaq could”, “You’re effort on backdoor plays is weak” or “Amare I’d like to help you rebound”.

Prediction Time

It’s Friday and like every other writer in the country, it’s time for me to make some predictions. Unlike every other writer, I’m not going to be picking the biggest games in football or telling you which teams to watch for (If you want that go, check out fellow Fanster columnist Jerry Brown or our picks in the Cardinals section). No, based on years of never being able to pick games I’ve decided to do things a little differently. Each Friday I will make predictions about what you won’t see this weekend.

You won’t see …
1. The Cardinals abandon the running game

Against the Giants, the Cards can afford to give up on their running if they plan to keep Kurt Warner upright. New York’s defense has only given up on average a league best 149 passing yards per game while sacking the quarterback fourteen times. Ken Whisenhunt will have to keep the G-men honest by mixing in the run if they hope to have a chance. The Giants give up 108 rushing yards per game, fourteenth worst in the league.

2. The ASU defense hold another running back under 100 yards

   Stanford’s Toby Gerhart is on pace for almost 1,500 yards this season and is averaging 124 rushing yards per game. He’s so good, or their passing game is so pathetic, that they even run a specific formation called the “Giant formation” to maximize the blocking for Gerhart.

3. More than 8,000 fans at Jobing.com Arena on Saturday

The Los Angeles Kings don’t have the fan base that the Red Wings do and thus the ‘Yotes won’t benefit from the bump in attendance. I’m just playing the odds here (Don’t believe me? See above).

And that’s a wrap

Another week in the books but before I let you go I want to summarize the week that was in a quote from anywhere in pop culture. Music, Movies and TV shows are all fair game.

“I gotta feeling, that tonight’s gonna be a good night” ~ Black Eyed Peas

Since last Friday, Phoenix team’s combined to go 6-2 (Cards 1-0, Coyotes 2-0, ASU 1-0, Suns 2-2 in preseason games).

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Tags: Amare Stoudemire, Black Eyed Peas, Detroit Red Wings, Phoenix Coyotes, Shaquille O'Neal, Tim Hightower