Music can tell the story of the 2008-09 Phoenix Suns

shaq-rapping1″ title=”shaq-rapping1″ class=”alignnone size-full wp-image-1832″ />Disappointing. Inevitable. Lackluster. Frustrating. Tumultuous. Unserendipitous (for our purposes, that’s a word.)

These are all ways to describe the 2008-09 season of the Phoenix Suns. The Suns are a team with as much talent as anyone, yet will be on the couch watching the playoffs in HD when they begin on April 18th.

Many people relate to music to heal their pain. That’s what we’ve chosen to do here at Fanster.com.

Every player on the Suns roster (and some that aren’t anymore) can have a song title attached to what their season was in 2008-09. Here’s our list. Feel free to contribute your own in the comment section, or through a Fan Take.

Lou Amundson -”Won’t Back Down” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
After becoming a punching bag for foes Zach Randolph of the Clippers and Denver’s Nene’, Sweet Lou came out and said he won’t back down from anyone in the league. That’s good, because of his less-than-intimidating look and aggressive style of play, Amundson will likely be a target of random fists and elbows from around the league.

Leandro Barbosa - “Broken” by Seether featuring Amy Lee
LB had a tough time personally in the beginning of the season when his mother passed away in Brazil. And of course there were the leg problems during the stretch run that kept the Brazilian Blur out for 7 games. Unfortunately, this song just fits.

Matt Barnes - “Hot and Cold” by Katy Perry
The quirky singer belts out the lyrics “you’re hot then you’re cold, you’re yes then you’re no, you’re in then you’re out, you’re up then you’re down..” Did she have first-year Sun Matt Barnes in mind when writing this little ditty? Barnes has been maddeningly inconsistent this season. At times you’d watch Barnes play and think to yourself “man, what a steal!” At other times you’d think, “what is he doing?” And still at other times you’d think, “good lord he has a lot of tattoos!” Consistency has never been the calling card of Barnes, which is disappointing because when he’s good, he’s really good.

Goran Dragic - “America” by Neil Diamond
“Got a dream to take them there. They’re coming to America. Got a dream they’ve come to share. They’re coming to America.” What a fitting musical tribute to a young player drafted out of Slovenia, who in a whirlwind few weeks, was not only in the U.S. playing in the best basketball league in the world, but teaming with a player whom he idolized as a youngster. Of course Neil Diamond didn’t have a verse about needless turnovers and shooting a woeful 31% from the floor in the first half of the season, but you get the drift.

Jared Dudley - “Samson and Delilah” by the Grateful Dead
“You can shave my head, clean as my hand, and my strength will become as natural as any old man.” After teammate Jason Richardson convinced the second-year player to shave off his trademark braids on March 17th, Dudley is averaging 10.7 points per game, and has scored in double figures in 7 of the team’s ten games.

Grant Hill- “Back in Time” by Huey Lewis and the News
There’s a belief that Grant Hill is aging in reverse, like Benjamin Button or Mearth from Mork & Mindy, and it’s hard to argue. If Hill plays in the Suns’ last five games, he’ll have played in all 82 games in a season for the first time in his career. Not bad for a guy who missed an average of 48.7 games per season in his six years in Orlando. Not to mention, Hill’s scoring averages for March and April are his two highest of the year.

Robin Lopez - “Clumsy” by Fergie
“You got me trippin’, stumblin’, flippin’, fumblin’” Fergie sings these lyrics because she’s in love. They apply to R-Lo a little differently. Enough said. There’s still a chance Lopez could amass more fouls than rebounds in his rookie season (he’s +6 on rebounds right now) and that would be quite the acccomplishment.

Steve Nash - “Shut Up and Drive” by Rihanna
Everyone’s favorite Sun got a little mouthy earlier in the season, commenting on the Suns’ style of play under Terry Porter, the trade of his friend Raja Bell to Charlotte and even the Suns’ business model. Wouldn’t he be better off just driving to the hoop and dishing to open teammates?

Shaquille O’Neal - “All My Exes Live in Texas” by George Strait
This song doesn’t apply yet, but it very well could. For only the second time in his storied career, Shaquille O’Neal will not be participating in the NBA Playoffs. And there’s already rumors that indicate he could be very vocal about wanting out of Phoenix when the season is over. Destination? Dallas, anyone?

Jason Richardson - “I Can’t Drive 55” by Sammy Hagar
This is too easy. The ironic thing is, if he was driving 55 instead of 90, he still would have been slapped with the ticket.

Amare Stoudemire - “Poke Out My Eyes” by Puddle of Mudd
We could have gone in any number of directions with the song choice for STAT. It could have been “Talk, Talk” by Talk, Talk (off the LP Talk, Talk), or “It’s Not My Fault” by Buddy Holly following his “I’m not the captain” rant earlier this year. But in light of Stoudemire missing the bulk of the second half of the season with a bad eye injury, we went with the obvious. If only Amare would have listened to orders and kept those damn googles on.

Stromile Swift - “4 Minutes” by Madonnna featuring Justin Timberlake)
That’s about how long Stro can go before losing his breath.

Alando Tucker - “All Summer Long” by Kid Rock
Anybody get the feeling that Tucker will be playing “All Summer Long” again in Vegas?

…and a couple of players not with the Suns anymore

Raja Bell - “Let Me Go” by Good Charlotte
He wanted out, he got out, and he got shipped to Charlotte.

Boris Diaw - “Don’t Know What You’ve Got (’til It’s Gone)” by Cinderella
Don’t call him Doris Meow now. Boris is averaging 15 points, 6 rebounds and 5 assists since his trade to Charlotte. I know the Suns couldn’t have known what would happen with Stoudemire’s eye, but you have to admit, they’d be in much better shape right now if Diaw was still in Phoenix.

Courtney Sims - “Who’s That Guy?” from the Grease 2 Soundtrack
“Who’s that guy? Where did he come from?” Sims was signed to two 10-day contracts, but didn’t play a second in a Suns’ uniform.

…and we can’t forget the coaches and front office, can we?

Terry Porter - “Honeymoon’s Over” by State of Shock
“Honeymoon’s over, now I’m licking my wounds, kicking myself, looking back.” Wow, talk about your fitting lyrics. They could apply to Terry Porter or the Suns’ front office after that hiring. Oh, and in case you were wondering, a honeymoon in the NBA lasts exactly 51 games.

Alvin Gentry - “Clean Up” by Barney
“Clean up, clean up. Everybody, everywhere. Clean Up, clean up. Everybody do your share.” You knew it wouldn’t be a song list without everyone’s favorite purple dinosaur. Alvin Gentry was handed the keys to a broken down beater car, and made it run fast again. But, he’s only 14-12 since taking over for Porter, who was 28-23. With the Suns’ window all but closed, and considering the ages of the core players of this team, the Suns could be considered the NBA’s purple dinosaur.

Steve Kerr - “Just Once” by James Ingram
The chorus of the song says it all…”Just once can’t we figure out what we keep doing wrong. Why we never last for very long. What are we doing wrong? Just once can’t we find a way to finally make it right. Make the magic last for more than just one night. If we could just get to it, I know we could break through it.” Steve Kerr isn’t the most popular guy in the world to Suns fans. But give him credit on one thing–he doesn’t sit idly by, watching from the sidelines. The Suns have been very active in the trade market–it’s just that those trades haven’t worked out very well.

Robert Sarver - “Front Row” by Alanis Morrissette
“I’m in the front row, the front row with popcorn. I get to see you, see you, close up.” Substitute foam finger for popcorn, and we’re in business.

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